Best Search Strings: March 2003
Most interesting search phrases people used to find my main site:
chubby blonde wife
Buxom goddess was used in January as well. I'm alright with that. Not a bad thing to be associated with.
2004 - 2009
Most interesting search phrases people used to find my main site:
I'm reposting this poem from last week since Daniel Nester missed it the first time around (even though I chastised him over an e-mail -- it's OK, he wasn't feeling well and I'm a very understanding gal).
So how is it that even though I sent Sam 264 e-mail messages in February I only managed to rank 7? God damn CMU nerds, get a life. You're making this too difficult.
On Getting Raped by Sonneteers
My contributor copies of LIT arrived today. I felt like a little kid who drank too much Kool Aid when I opened my mailbox and saw the package. Three poems in one issue. Giggle giggle. Only had time to flip through it so far but it looks super and I'm geeked to be in the same journal with so many spankin' poets.
I'll be away at AWP and won't be posting here until Sunday when I get back.
Who was the mock trial witness diva? You guessed it. I remembered my story, stuck to it and skull fucked the prosecution's map exhibit. Southwest, southeast, south on the median, I was using all that directional lingo like a pro. According to Tender Buttons, my look of sheepishness was flawless (when asked why I never reported what I saw to the police despite being the crossing guard on scene) and I was quite skillful at "throwing in highly prejudicial commentary."
Wednesday afternoon right after yoga, I'll be hopping on a plane and headed to Chicago. David McDonald promises to show me the wonders of the T (Is that what's it's called there or am I getting it confused with someplace else?). I'll be there until Sunday.
Not since my role as "dancer" in the Mifflin Elementary production of Cinderella have I had such a big role. Tomorrow, I will appear in TB's mock trial as "Alice Mallory", a 47 year old crossing guard and witness to a fatal car accident. It's my most complex role to date. Complex because I will have to make markings on a MAP -- that's right, you heard me, a MAP. I'm going to have to learn street names and north, south, west AND east. I can barely find the grocery store from my house. How am I going to convince jurors I can read a map?
Slideshow devoted entirely to the Spandex years.
Do not wish for that terminal
My husband battles zombie armies, what does yours do?
From page 21 of Betsy Prioleau's Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love:
I'm almost positive the Washington Post article said the Benjamin Weissman reading was Weds (why would I make it up?), but when I got I to the bookstore they told me it was tomorrow. When I got home I checked the WP and the reading was listed for Thursday. So what the fuck? Did WP change the information after Sunday? Or do I need another round of electric shock treatments? What a downer. I doubt I'll be able to make it tomorrow.
This past weekend we met with our accountant to handle our taxes. He reminded me that I only had 6-8 years to start making money as a writer -- else the government would brand me a "hobbyist" and I would no longer be able to write stuff off, like conferences, contest fees, postage, vodka, etc. I'm not sure how many years I have left to make some dough -- I think around three or so.
For all the ladies out there having a tough time snagging the kind of men they want, may I suggest reading Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love by Betsy Prioleau (Viking).
Here's a review of John May's upcoming historical novel, Poe & Fanny (Algonquin). Based on fact, John's novel explores the romance between Edgar Allen Poe and Fanny Osgood in 1845.
7 P.M. Dennis Cooper and Benjamin Weissman read from and sign their novels My Loose Thread and Headless, respectively, at Lambda Rising, 1625 Connecticut Ave. NW, 202-462-6969.
I'm in the middle of writing a personal essay regarding my great-grandmother's lesbian wedding (prior to marrying my great-grandfather). I have pictures from the event too. If anyone has any suggestions of places to submit the essay once it's completed, feel free to share them with me either in the comment box or e-mail. I don't know much about the "personal essay" market since I normally don't write them.
This is kind of fun, saw it on Wonkette today. Make up your own Bush/Cheney campaign slogan on their site. You're going to have to be creative. It won't accept slogans with the following words: Dumb, Stupid, Queer, Faggot, Fascism, Evil, Lying, Scum, Terrorists, Sodomy, Rape, Pillage, Fart, Fistfucking, Blowing, Pedophile and Iraq.
It occurs to me
From Be Drunk by Charles Baudelaire (translated by Louis Simpson):
Recipe for Gnarly Hangover:
I'll be back Monday evening. Tender Buttons and I have some business to attend. Thanks to that punk ass mother nature!
I meant to link to this a few days ago, but forgot.
From BBC News: "News that the grave of the great Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca is soon to be exhumed is causing considerable controversy"
Just call me Mrs. Nerd. From Web Hosting Industry News:
If your new girlfriend confides that she used to date Fabio, take it in stride. It could be a lot worse. Much worse. It could have been one of the following celebrities:
Obviously I haven't been paying too much attention because it appears that Ploughshares "Emerging Writer" issue has been out for some time now. I won't lie. I, along with a number of other hopefuls, contacted a former teacher (oh you know him, everybody knows him) for the required recommendation. You see, to be considered for inclusion in this issue your work has to be recommended and submitted by a writer who has at least one book published. Each "established" writer can recommend up to three "emerging" writers. After a month of silence, he responded to all of us (blind carbon copy) "thanking" us for bringing the upcomming issue to his attention and turning us all down. There was still time for me to contact another former teacher or ask a better published friend, but I decided to let the whole matter drop. I felt like a fool. It put me in the position of having to hassle people and the payout didn't seem worth it. If Ploughshares was really interested in finding the best emerging writers, they wouldn't have used the recommendation requirement. Surely this was done to control the outrageous number of submissions. They would have received thousands, no doubt. But still, they decided to let their editoral decisions be guided by others -- which if you think about it, is what Ploughshares is all about -- every issue, new guest editor.