Sunday, May 29, 2005

How Does One Say "Go Fuck Yourself" in Genius?: An Open Letter

Dear Pulitzer Prize Winner [Name Removed to Prevent Further "Taunting"]

I guess you spend so much time self-googling and send so many bitchy little e-mails you forget who've you already pissed all over. Let me refresh your memory, I already had the pleasure of hearing from you back in January, when I was 9 months pregnant. For no good reason you sent a vile e-mail informing me of my "rediculous" mediocrity and that my ilk and I were lice. On reflection, I must have been suffering a serious case of hormones because I was much much much too kind to you. I am no longer pregnant and I am no longer weepy. So when I come home from a pleasant Saturday evening on the town and find this pathetic repeat on my blog, well . . .

I have no idea why you haven't been shamed into silence by now. Do you have no friends willing to point out that sending psycho e-mails and letters makes you a laughing stock? I am not your friend and since receiving your messages I am quite positive that I don't like you. You've already pointed out my glaring insufficiencies before. I am aware of your opinion. There is no reason to ever contact me again. You're creepy.

Signed,
Reb

3 Comments:

At 2:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooo, have I been upgraded to ilk? Well then, I won't charge you royalties for using my trademark line. Speaking of genius, I tested genius tonight on the golf tee game at CB. Fear my bloviations now!

 
At 2:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, who the hell is Franz Wright? I never heard of her.

 
At 3:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's a monkey-lookin' freakshow, see image at:

http://www.npr.org/programs/wesat/features/2004/apr/wright/wright140.jpg

I'm talkin' pre-cambrian here....

 

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