Things You Didn't Know About Me

For some reason Deb thinks I'm least likely to post my list. I've been asked the "what are some things people don't know about you" question a couple times recently for interviews. I find this to be difficult to answer. If there's something you don't know about me it's probably because I don't want you to know. The blog/"diary to the world" is a carefully constructed construct. Heh heh, I said "constructed construct".

Nevertheless, I can share some information and continue to maintain my dreamy mystique.

Here are some things I haven't mention in any interviews and you probably didn't know:

Yesterday I was thinking that if I ever had another son (very unlikely in my current state of mind) that I would name him Spartacus. This was after 30 minutes of standing Gideon up (which he loves) and yelling "I am Spartacus!" Last night I also wrote a draft of a poem that mentions Kirk Douglas and Spartacus. I haven't seen that movie in years.

As a child I invented my own country called Kelsla and ruled the neighborhood children with an iron fist. A day of playing "Kelsla" usually ended in Tender Buttons starting a rebel uprising. I would crush them all. The benefit of being the oldest kid in the neighborhood.

Once, one of those neighborhood kids and I rolled dried leaves and pine needles in paper and tried to smoke it. Our lungs almost melted. I reference this in a poem.

I was "pre-engaged" in high school. Pre-engaged means you're engaged to be engaged to be married. It's also a sign of amazing dorkitude.

After receiving a poor grade on a short story in my first fiction workshop (one of the professor's criticisms was that it was too violent), I wrote her a letter demanding she change the grade to an A. The C stood, but I freaked her out pretty good. Soon after that I started exploring poetry. That's right, I'm a poet because the fiction folks wouldn't have me. Does this mean that poetry is for rejects? Yes, I think it does.

I didn't eat rice until I was 21. Only potatoes. Now I eat rice all the time.

I don't drink coffee.

I stated here earlier that my favorite Monkee is Mickey, but what I didn't tell you is that my favorite Beatle is Paul. Although if I met them all back in the day, I probably would have ended up with Ringo.

When I found out I didn't get an administrative assistant job at AOL (I was desperate to "get off the phones" during those first five months) I ran into the restroom and cried.

When I discovered I forgot my shoes on the day of my wedding, I cried.

When my manager (a few years after the "admin assist" debacle) informed me that I was getting the title assistant programming manager instead of just plain "programming manager" I didn't cry. I sat stone faced and said "very well". He kept trying to get me to say how I felt which we all is know is just code for "I want to see you cry." I waited until I got home before I cried. Then I made my plans to go to grad school.

My first night at Bennington, yep, I cried.