The Woman Question -- Who Do We Elect to Speak for Us?

I don't call myself a feminist or lay claim to any feminist allegiances. I used to, but I don't anymore. Why? Because it further fragments and distances me from women more than I already am. Sometimes I feel awfully lonely.*

Because I kept my last name when I married and believe in reproductive rights I am supposedly more enlightened than the woman who changed her name and doesn't agree. She's backwards and I'm progessive. Yet, because in my mid-20's I walked away from a "promising"** career to study poetry and write, edit and design jewelry from home, I lost a great of my "forward thinking" cred. I became a "housewife" -- a term I used to detest, but later embraced because 1.) I am somebody's wife, and 2.) I spend a great deal of time at home during the day. So where's the slur?

There are categories (mother -- childless, married -- single, virgin -- whore) and all the nasty sub-categories ("working" mom -- "stay-at-home" mom, natural -- fakies). Then there's all those pesky things like class, race, religion, sexual orientation -- well, at least men have to deal with those too.

There's not a single woman or organization that can honestly claim "I/We speak for women." We are too many and too diverse. So stop asking us to step up and represent for all. If there was a "woman" view (or only two or three views), we'd rule the fucking world. There's more of us. We're the ones who can actually "make" the species. You can only club so many of us over the head before we'd collectively poison your chicken soup.

That's one of the many reasons why a lot of women don't step and join the boys in these conversations -- because most of us are smart enough to know we aren't speaking for all (or a majority) -- yet that is the task put on us. What happens when two women publicly disagree with each other? It's not perceived as the intellectual sparring of great minds -- no, it's a cat fight, two chicks mud wrestling.

Go jerk it to some porn. I'm not participating in that.

Oh, and I'd rather have my eyelids stapled open and forced to watch every Meg Ryan romantic comedy for infinity than write about "poetics" in the fashion of the boys.

I'm sure most women reading the above paragraphs disagree with my statements. Thank God.

* "Lonely" here does not equate to an invitation for creepy men to inquire about discrete daytime trysts.

** "Promising" here equates to making a shit load of money which equates to economic freedom which apparently equates to equality -- although I wasn't especially enamored with what my career was promising.