Clearly I Should Have Went to Law School

Ya know, for my wedding, I specifically told my florist NO CARNATIONS yet he put white carnations in the two biggest arrangements and charged me an extra 20% cause it was Easter weekend.

And did I ever mention that the bakery I ordered my cake from did the WRONG flavor? I said chocolate and they did white cake. I don't even LIKE white cake. When I called to complained, I didn't even get a discount. I got a free sheet cake. Fuckers.

Clearly I didn't realize that my "extreme disappointment, distress and embarrassment" could have been my ticket to a sweet nest egg.

This is why poets are poor. We let all the good opportunities pass on by without a thought. I can't wait until TB's wedding, she's ten times the lawyer as the woman in the article. TB's gonna make out like litigious bandit.

TB Wedding Update: The bridesmaids are discussing dress styles, fabrics and colors. Moss . . . clover . . . kiwi -- will we ever find common ground?

Probably not. But I'm Matron of Honor and the only one local to the bride, who's a blood relation btw. Guess who has the advantage?

Score for the poet!