So I never even heard of this Poem in Your Pocket Day until this morning. Like an asshole, I totally sent Gideon and Chris out into the world without any poems in their pockets.

Did I have a poem in my pocket? Hell no. I don't put things in my pockets, like I'd ever step out of the house with that extra bulk around my hips. Who the hell comes up with this crap? Poem in Your Purse/Manbag Day, that's what I say.