Recent Revelation

It would not be untrue to say one of the main reasons I wanted to have a child was so I'd have an excuse to do a bunch of arts and crafts projects.

I never needed an excuse to write poems or bead. But I feel like I need one to finger paint or iron leaves in wax paper.

Right now I have no time to bead and very little time to write poems. If I gave Gideon paste, he'd smear it all over his face. Probably eat it.

Everyone says treasure these moments because they grow up so fast.

But I want him to hurry and grow up. I'm anxious to do projects with him, instead of to him (what happens if I . . . he cries! no, he's laughing! no, he's barfing!)

I'll convert my writing studio in the basement into our craft workshop. I'll find a cheap place to rent for my writing studio. I'll get a nanny to watch him two days a week so I can write, the other three we'll spend in the craft workshop -- making crap and hanging it on the walls like an art gallery.

This is the dream. This is when it would benefit us to live in a more affordable area -- in a place I could actually afford to pay for a writing studio and child care. But this is where the jobs are and somebody needs to have one. Leaves and pine cones don't grow on . . .

oh wait, they do.

It's everything else that doesn't and honestly, I don't want to live in the sticks.

I'm going to have to find a way to make it work here.