Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Because I want to do certain things now and not put them off until my mid-40's when Gideon is older and doesn't need as much of my attention, I have work in a (sometimes hyper) direct and concise fashion. I have to make snatches of time as "productive" as possible. Often I stay up late and work with a little less sleep. This means "work" e-mails can be short and to the point. This means I can sometimes get tunneled into "business" and brush off someone's need to be assured or comforted. This means sometimes I come off as curt. This means I get right down to the nitty. I'm not saying that's a good thing and I try not to be insensitive, but sometimes it happens. I must admit, I get weary of having to tend to everyone else's feelings and needs and quirks and complexes and egos. I have feelings, needs, quirks, complexes and an ego too.

I start to get very tired and worn. I decide I'm going to quit everything and solely focus on Gideon and killer abs. Then I remember that I don't want to become the bitter 50 year old woman in the back row listening to my male peer talk about how you "just have to work" if you want to accomplish something, him seemingly forgetting how someone else took care of his children and home and basically his entire fucking life so he could "just work." I don't want to be that angry woman in the back row yelling at the moderately famous novelist that he never cleaned his house. Seriously, I recently witnessed that. Apparently I was the only person who understood where she was coming from -- everyone else chalked her to up to crazy bitch. Not me. I knew her. Well, I never laid eyes on her until that moment, but I KNEW her story (and later confirmed my knowingness). I know why the gnarled woman scoffs. It was easy to see. I explained it to a few of my male peers. They admitted to never thinking of it in those terms cause they don't have to think of it that way. That's why they're all at risk of becoming moderately famous writers exclaiming that people should throw Fritos on their floors before getting down to writing.

This is why I don't quit. This is why my belly is soft and Gideon plays with a flame thrower.

9 Comments:

At 2:20 PM, Blogger Radish King said...

when Gideon is older and doesn't need as much of my attention

Oh dear. This never will actually happen. He'll get older, but the other part, no.

*scurries off*

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger Reb said...

You mean I'm going to be wiping his butt forever?!?

Sweet mercy -- why don't they teach us this stuff in school?

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger Radish King said...

Cuz you'd never birf no babies, that's why.

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Bernadette Geyer said...

(laughing hysterically to myself so as to not wake Frida)

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger Daisy said...

not that soft bellies aren't totally nice, they are! but if you do seven minutes of pilates (you can learn it from a book--I did from one called "The Pilates Body"), just the beginner series, every day or even every couple of days you will have if not killer abs at least felony assault abs...

not to be creepily boosterish about pilates or anything.

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger Reb said...

Hi Daisy, I do a one hour pilates session with a trainer once a week -- which is great, but I don't do it everyday at home. I probably should.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Charles said...

I am currently in a killer abs phase. It's not going well because during the rest of the day, I stuff my face with Skittles. They're ruining my abs. Skittles! Little bits of rainbows. Aren't I, like, made of rainbows??

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger shanna said...

heh, and that's pretty much also why i still owe you a long email!

i did work on my abs today tho. ;)

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger 32poems.com said...

For how long does the flame thrower keep G busy?

Wondering mom

 

Post a Comment

<< Home