A demoralizing weekend

Had a $25 off coupon for Bloomingdales and didn't see a single pair of shoes I wanted. Found the most insanely perfect, gorgeous sunglasses. Initially tried them on as a joke because they were huge -- and was instantly transformed into a chic Jackie O. They were Chanel and expensive and I did not care, I had to have them. But I could not have them. They could not put in my prescription -- the lens were too curved and could only fit the thinest of prescriptions. I don't wear contacts and I can't use the glasses if I can't see. It was like finding your dream man only to discover that his penis doesn't work in your vagina.

Later that evening Gideon picked his nose, smacked his lips together, said "mama" and then ate his snot.

Now the family calls me Boogerhead.