OK, if you include a note from your mother, you may submit your "sex act" poems for the 2007 Bedside Guide.

But keep in mind, we will be comparing signatures!

That reminds me about the time in elementary school I got busted forging my mother's signature on an assignment I was supposed to show her. The teacher didn't notice, but a few weeks later my mother eventually found it with "her signature." I argued that she did indeed sign it and just didn't remember doing so. She didn't buy it. Not for a minute. The dead give away? I misspelled both her first and last name.