Friday, May 19, 2006

Theories

An animal in the tree dropping pine cones or acorns on the deck.

or

A bird or varmint is stuck in the chimney but we don't dare open the flue to check in case a bird or varmint is in there.

5 Comments:

At 9:18 AM, Blogger Ross White said...

I once had a neighbor who was concerned that a varmint was in the chiney. He didn't want to open the flue, in case the varmint should scramble into his house.

Instead, he rigged a couple coat hangers to the flue lever, so it could be opened from a distance. He opened all doors and windows and set a fan near the fireplace. He started a fire with the flue shut, got it raging, and set the screen in front of the fireplace. He covered the open area above the screen with cardboard and duct-taped that shut except for the small hole where the coat hangers came out. Then he opened the flue.

Result: No varmint appeared, charred or otherwise, and his house smelled like smoke for a long time.

My advice: Do not use this method.

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger Radish King said...

You could also send a small child up there on an expedition. With a stick or something. Isn't it time G. got a job?

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Bernadette Geyer said...

I wrote a poem about how this used to happen to my family all the time when I was younger. We'd have to all line up in the house and try to shoo the bird through the living room, dining room and out the kitchen door. Some of us held blankets up, others just windmilled their arms.

I've actually heard placing a bowl of ammonia in the fireplace will cause the bird/varmint to vacate the chimney.

 
At 3:19 PM, Blogger Amanda Auchter said...

All that scratching. . .you should see the raccoon fiasco over at my blog.

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger Reb said...

If there was a varmint in the chimney -- it's dead now. I think it was in the tree.

So Gideon will be be spared The Songs of Experience -- for now.

Raccoons! Those fuckers scare me.

 

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