June Wedding: Judgment Day

As I mentioned, TB is getting married next year. She finally found somebody to love her. Yayy!!! *Plus* she has her career. What a coup!

And you know what that means.

I get to be Matron of Honorzilla.

See I was kind of young when I got married (23) -- and I wasn't nearly as good at asserting myself back then. Now I'm wise and experienced and I got a mean motherfucking axe to grind with the whole wedding industry and whoah and behold, I'm a player again. That's right, psycho/vicious SOB (Sister of Bride) here and that means the dresses will be altered correctly, the seamstress will not make inappropriate comments about anyone's weight, the cake will be the right flavor and the florist will not be sneaking any carnations into the arrangements and will not be making googly eyes with the groom. Not this time. Got it? Just try tacking on some extra non-agreed upon charges . . . I will hurt you.

Rage against the happy day makers!