Friday, November 04, 2005

Mommy Moan #5

I am now one of those parents I used to mock in my youth. The only way I hear about what kids are "doing these days" is from the twisted angle of the media. Never have I felt so out-of-touch.

Recently on a Dr. Phil episode called "Shocking Teen Trends" I learned kids are playing a game called "Space Monkey" and it involves one kid choking another kid until he passes out. In my day it was safer, it was auto-erotic asphyxiation. You did it alone and as long as you weren't a total idiot, nobody ever had to know about it. Most kids aren't smart enough to make educated guesses on multiple choice tests and now they have to pick someone responsible enough to know when its time to stop with the choking? Can't these kids come up with a better way to get high?

Just today I read that this adorable snowman T-shirt is a coded symbol for drugs. Now I have to go through Gideon's entire wardrobe and try to figure out if he's been prancing around in any coded symbols. In my day, there were no coded symbols. There was never any question what meant what. If you were wearing an AC/DC shirt, you worshipped the devil. Clear signals!

I feel the need call an emergency PTA meeting. I'm so in over my head.


At 8:26 PM, Blogger Radish King said...

The image popularized by drug-dealer-turned-rapper Young Jeezy

Okay. I got as far as Young Jeezy before I started cracking up. Didn't he used to live next door to the Beav? Holy crap. What happened to righteous rapper names like Puffy or Diddy or P.Diddy or 50 cent and shit?

At 8:27 PM, Blogger Radish King said...

I'm sorry. I meant Fitty Cent and shit.

At 10:56 PM, Blogger Tony said...

"Space Monkey?"

That's weird. In my day, we called it "doing wall hits."

Oh these youth...

At 5:02 AM, Blogger love phillip said...

Crazy kids. Way back when when I was young(er)(est) we called it, "Choke the dweeb until he passes out and then laugh and hide when the teacher comes investigating."

Hey, look on the bright side. If the world ends, your son won't have to ever find out about those teentrends.

And also, what those slant/media/twists won't tell you is that those midwestern kids are the craziest out of everybody everywhere. Seriously.


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