GIRLFRIEND

Ok, I will confess, last night I went to the NKOTB concert with Tender Buttons. I was never a fan of the group, by the time they hit the scene I had breasts and didn't have to imagine what it would be like to have a boyfriend. At that time TB didn't have breasts, but once she did get them she didn't need NKOTB either. But they were an important part of her adolescence so when they announced the reunion concert, she became nostalgic and asked if I'd go with her. I became nostalgic for the times I could easily and without effort tease her mercilessly about Donnie. It was a nostalgia event for the both of us . . .

and thousands of other seemingly dorky women. I'm being a little judgmental, but remember that's my role as "big" sister at the NKOTB concert.

This was the STRANGEST concert I ever attended and note, I've been to GWAR for Christ's sake.

The male:female ration was about 1:75. There were two types of women. The women dressed in their brand new "party" shirts trying to hide that extra baby weight (hey I empathize!) and the frightening number of women who seemed to have not changed at all since middle school. I have never seen so many young 30-something women who looked, dressed and acted like they were still in middle school. At one point Donnie even said to the audience about how happy they were they could make them all feel 15 again and he was right, these women WANTED to feel 15 again.

If I woke up tomorrow and discovered I was 25 -- I'd fall into a very deep depression, if I woke up at the age of 15, I'd fill my pockets with rocks and march right into the nearby man-made lake. Who the hell wants to feel 15 years old again -- even for one split second?!? I was in a stadium full of these people.

Everyone wanted nostalgia and it was delivered to them. The screens flashed GIRLFRIEND. There was pyrotechnics and smoke machines. NKOTB came out and they all looked really good, handsome, in great shape performing the same dance moves which I remembered to be quite "fresh" in the 80's, but rather silly looking now, especially by a group of men pushing 40. Donnie still wore a baseball cap and took on his NKOTB persona as the street-wise bad boy -- which I found off-putting because I've seen him in a number of interviews for his acting career where he was mature, charming and likable. Big Sister was probably was the only person there bothered by this. There was a hilarious part where Jordan wore an open white billowly shirt with a wind machine for an entire song -- and yes he was cut and waxed and oh boy, was it the goofiest of all performances.

The songs weren't very good. They didn't sound very good. I can't tell if it was the sound system (the opening act didn't sound very good either) or not. Half the time we couldn't understand what they were saying.

If I'm sounding a little critical maybe it's because I had to STAND the entire time because we were behind #1 NKOTB FANS!!!!! who refused to sit down, even during the slow ballads. My feet are swollen, even though I wore "comfort" shoes and yes, my ass is 40 times it's 1988 width and yes, I'm 35, pushing 36, but at least I don't feel 15, hallelujah.