Tuesday, February 10, 2009

impending doom report

The menacing AWP dreams are back. I have them all year long, but they step up as the date approaches. The latest involves sharing a hotel room with my dad, Posh Spice and some other guy. We're doing a panel together. We're very late and I'm not even registered. I use Posh's tiny eyebrow scissors to cut the tags off my underwear. Last year before the conference I dreamed the hotel lobby was full of meat, like a butcher shop (or a meat market) and then my legs were knocked from under me. Yep, that about sums my experience.

I have said "maybe" or "yes" to about a trillion readings, panels and book signings at AWP thanks to Facebook. My event calendar is an impossibility and kind of makes me wanna throw up. It goes against nature. Therefore I'll be sending a proxy to every event. That strange woman who says the really freaky thing that sort of frightens you. Know that I sent her and I'm sorry I couldn't be there to do it myself.


At 8:44 AM, Blogger CLAY BANES said...

Reb or Reb's double (I can't be sure who's writing this),

Look forward to seeing both of you.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger odalisqued said...

do you know what sad dreams I've been dreaming?

that I'm good at science.

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Radish King said...

I will gladly be your proxy as long as I can use a fake name (such as Gertrude Stein) and wear a moustache.

At 9:53 PM, Blogger Collin Kelley said...

I always picture AWP being like a zombie movie...one of those rabid Dawn of the Dead or 28 Days type scenarios. Just keep that in your mind when you walk into the Hilton. :)

Word verification: hymeth

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Reen said...

Aieee! The barbaric AWP, o'er the rooftops of the world...


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