What We're Trying To Accomplish

Tony's recent post touches on poetic ambitions. All poets have ambitions in some form or another. Joe Massey took the more extreme end of the spectrum as a pure ambition of the poem (and only the poem) and surely there are those on the complete other end with a focused ambition of the "career" in poetry. Even if one does not agree fully (or at all) with Joe's stance -- his makes by far more interesting reading than someone who publicly plots out his or her conquest of all things poetry. "1. Get MFA/Ph.D in this "ranked" program 2. Place poems in these journals 3. Win these awards 4. Publish books with this "reputable" press 5. Secure tenure-track position at this university 6. Nail three students per term (two graduate, one undergrad) 7. Die"

OK, I've never read anything quite that obnoxious on any poetry blogs, but I have observed bits and pieces and while I do agree with Tony's -- hey, do what you gotta do, I'm not judging position -- I do worry that these poets will soon (if it hasn't happened already) turn on poetry -- no matter what the success outcome/quotient turns out to be. Maybe that's just one of the ways to follow the poet tradition -- set yourself up for assured unhappiness.

When scholars are pronouncing "there's only 20 good poets alive today" or when poets are tearing other poets apart over who's the "real" poet or the "true" genius -- I mean, who's really "ruining" poetry?

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Nobody is ruining poetry.

It's a myth. It's the Loch ness monster.

When I was a kid, my uncle Marty came back from a vacation in Scottland. I asked him if he saw the Loch ness monster, and Marty, being the kind of guy that would critique a little girl for blowing her Christmas money on a Barbie doll and Blondie album instead of investing that $20 in stocks (really, in 10 years what's that doll and record going to be doing for me?), disabused me of my Loch ness monster notion. He said, "You know, it's not a very big lake. If they wanted, they could drag a net through it and catch the monster if they really thought it was there. They don't, because if they did, the tourists would stop coming. It's a scam for attention."

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Random thoughts:

* There are so many ways to be soulless -- why not pick one that pays better? Or earns you a little more respect with friends and family?

* Career or Vocation? I pick vocation -- what do you pick? Hey, I'm not judging! (Oh, but I hope you pick vocation -- both you and your work will be much more interesting.)

* Of course poets' lives matter -- to some degree at least. "Hey random person on the street, tell me everything you know about Sylvia Plath." Head. Oven. "Hart Crane." Didn't grab the lifesaver! "Elizabeth Bishop." Who?

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Ok, I'm veering off into tangents. Again.

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Random tangent:

I use WAY!!!!!! too many exclamation points. I'm aware of this, but I just can't help myself!

This is especially embarassing for a woman in her 30's!!!!!!!!!!

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PF Potvin once told me I was a very bright light bulb and some people have trouble with that much wattage.

He was correct -- but I decided that I wasn't going to soften my glow to be easier on certain sensitive folks eyes. This means I had to accept some will prefer not to share my company.

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One time I had a "career" and while I excelled at most of the tasks, I wasn't willing to do the things one needed to do to be truly "successful" -- i.e. get all the sweet promotions. I was blunt and a little too bossy for my mousy boss. Sure, I was the gal he always ran to when something needed to be done, but I was a problem. I was young, immature and stubborn.

I was always pointing out "how things should be."

Also, my hair was too straight and too long and I wore blue nail polish and jeans to the office.

Choosing "career" means you must to some degree play the game.

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I still enjoy a good game of Warcraft, but as a busy mom, I don't get to play as often I'd like.

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A career is not a requirement for writing poetry.

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Not having a "career" in poetry does not make what you do a "hobby."

Not having a "career" does not mean you're not writing great poems or not publishing or not making an "impact" in the world of poetry.

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Am I talking semantics or how we look at what we do?

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Well, I'm TRYING (!!!) to discuss how we perceive ourselves, our poems and our ambitions.

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Not sure how I'm doing.

Someone will tell me, I'm sure.

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An editor of a new magazine (first issue not yet out) recently invited me to submit work. I know this editor likes my work because he once wrote a thoughtful letter saying so. The letter made me feel very good and I appreciated it.

From time to time I receive invitations from editors to submit and I'm aware an invitation does not equal an acceptance and have had work declined in some instances. The way of the world. In the above instance the editor did not take my work. He said that he liked the poems, but his co-editor found them "too glib" and would I be willing to send more poems so he could avoid fighting another battle?

If this editor said they found the poems not to be working or certain lines flat or some kind of direct criticique -- I probably would have sent different poems. But if his co-editor considered them "too glib" or "light" or "silly" or whatever, I'd rather not waste either of our time. I don't mean that dismissively or rudely. I have no idea who the co-editor is -- but that comment makes clear to me that he's not receptive to my work, he either does not understand or does not value what it is I'm trying to do in my poems. That's OK. I'm sooooo used to it.

My work doesn't belong in that publication -- at least not right now. So the last thing I'm going to do is try to scrounge up some poems (or write new ones) specifically as a "fit." That feels so incredibly wrong.

For me and for that co-editor.

I'm not that co-editor's girl.

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Yes, the ambition for the poem has to the main, driving reason for writing. That's one of those no-brainers that sometimes gets muddled when we're distracted with with what other poets "have" or "don't have" or whatever latest distraction disrupts our napping.

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It's so easy to be distracted. I catch myself falling into that trap all the time. Everyday I fight against distraction. Sometimes distraction wins.

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What are my other "poetry" ambitions? I want my work read, by both poets and non-poets. I want them to like it. I want to help other poets find new readers. I want readers to like that work too.

And I want other poets to think I'm pretty.