Monday, November 12, 2007

Warning: Below is Ew

Once at an AWP hotel bar, a man-poet was going on about the sense of accomplishment one feels after taking a really big crap. He spoke of this as a universal truth. He alluded to another man-poet extolling pride regarding his own giant crap -- quotes and everything. This man-poet, a good, intelligent, thoughtful man, really expected me to nod my head in agreement that anus-stretching bowel movements were worthy of note and discussion. I believe I hurt his feelings when I responded, "My body created and birthed an 8 pound, 2 ounce, completely unique, beautiful human being. How on Earth could I be impressed with a bowel movement?"

See, that's innovation. But go ahead, keep polishing those turds. Maybe one will grow up and become Bono.


At 6:26 PM, Blogger Shann Palmer said...

doncha just love South Park?

At 7:00 PM, Blogger JimK said...

Be careful when you say
you are the patron saint
of "assholey poets"

At 11:52 PM, Blogger Peter said...

You put the *ouch* in *touche*

At 7:19 AM, Blogger shanna said...

um, i think i know that guy.

At 9:33 AM, Blogger Harrlean said...

c'mon reb, how intelligent or good could this man-poet have been? the other night, my 12 year old son told me his poop looked like melted ice-cream. without even looking, i decided to believe him. i believed him so much i used the same line on my 9 year old daughter the next day after i finished my business. she was delightfully digusted. and my son was terribly proud that i'd stolen from him.

At 3:28 AM, Blogger Adam said...



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