So the The Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel - Second Floor is nearly upon us. Ten proofs arrived today that I'll be bringing to my readings next week in Philadelphia and NYC along with copies of Your Ten Favorite Words. I'll order the rest of the Bedside Guides this weekend. It'll probably go on sale then too.
Last night I dreamed that I invited 20 contributors to participate in an out-of-town reading and offered to get them a hotel room. Of course, when I said hotel room, I meant one, for all of them to stay in -- with Chris and me. There were two queen beds, one for Chris and me and another for the other 20 poets to share. They were pissed and complained they were uncomfortable, crowded and I promised them . . . I became exasperated with their complaints and argued with the more vocal ones. Nobody was swayed. What did they expect from me? I'm just one woman, I thought. Eventually I relented and got a second room, and allowed one of the tinier poets to join my bed. Some of the contributors (Jill Essbaum, Bruce Covey, TB (? -- since when did she write poetry?) and six others) took it upon themselves to get a third room with a stocked bar. But I still got the sense everyone was disappointed with me.
Any dream interpreters want to give that a go? Something other than my subconscious telling me I'm inconsiderate, impractical and a big fucking letdown?
posted by RL @ 3:39 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
I was going to leave you a detailed analysis of your dream but decided that it be best I do not. Instead I will make it short and sweet --Sometimes it gets too close for comfort - to put in a nutshell. There you go.
d.
I thought it meant that you felt guilty you were not able to give more than one or two copies of the book to your contributors for payment, hence the one or two "rooms." But don't feel guilty - we all know poets run on slim margins!
...something about poet infestation....poets=fleas?
(kidding).
May I include your dream at the Annandale Dream Gazette?
OOH! Maybe I can make your Philly reading.
wait, didn't you have a very similar dream *last time*!?
Well, you're dreaming of a motel room, which is good - if it was taking place in your own home I'd worry.
That your bed is in the same room as the guest bed suggests that you feel like your professional life might be impinging on your personal life - don't worry about feeling a little bit guilty about that as almost everyone else in the world has similar feelings at some time or another.
I'd view the hiring of a second room as a good sign - you're trying to work out ways to limit the problem above. That some of the guests hire their own room may be a suggestion that you'd like others to help out more - be more assertive in promoting their work (if this is about the publishing thing) instead of over-relying on you.
You say the third room had a well-stocked bar; you're thinking of ways of incentivising others (professional life, not personal life) to become less reliant on your hard work.
The best person to ask what this dream means is, of course, yourself.
it's just anxiety, hon, but you know that. i think the simplest way to break it down is thus: you work really hard to be inclusive (note: last year's awp reading) and to give your authors everything you think they deserve (to make them happy and yourself happy) but in the end it ends up being a huge to-do and your enormous efforts are overshadowed by higher expectations (yours and others') and that feels crappy b/c even though you've already gone above and beyond, you feel like you've messed something up (even if you haven't). but in the end, it's fine b/c the whiney poets are completely capable of getting their own damn room (WITH a stocked bar, thank you very much). how's that? i say just breathe. and give yourself some credit for the hard work you do. xo
ha ha..send the really nasty pissy poets to my house in brooklyn where i have two different bottles of bourbon and a sofa bed. can't wait to see you in nyc!!!
Wow -- those are some insightful interpretations, seriously. Thanks.
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