Letter to Sam

Have you eaten your pets yet? We haven't hit bottom until we've eaten our pets -- oops I mistyped "pets" and typed "poets" by mistake. I fixed it cause I don't want to give you corporate types any ideas. Please don't eat your poets. Even though this is mostly the poets' fault for not writing perfect poems. I'd try writing that perfect poem to transcend your dread, but fear if I did you would eat me. Remember when we were in college and we'd take turns buying one another dinner and you always paid with a credit card? Even though you had thousands of dollars of debt and no way to pay it off? I think it all began there. Instead of going out to dinner I should have bought a bag of Funyuns to share and invited you to my place so I could read poems to you. I'm sorry I didn't write you poems when I had the chance. I wrote a poem for Randy, but not for you. How fucking elitist of me. Now you work for Amazon and it's too late. How did this come to be? Weren't you supposed to grow up and become a physicist?