Wednesday, February 21, 2007

When it Comes Down to it, I Didn't Stick Around Because I Was Afraid of an Anal Probe

I am never driving through Falls Church again -- ever. That town was built on an ancient burial ground, like freaking Poltergeist. The roads are cursed. It was Falls Church where Betsy and I were pulled over and almost tasered to death and today where the Happy Booker and I hit a gigantic crater while entering the highway *and* where I pulled in front of some guy in my blind spot. Our bumpers are scratched. It wasn't serious, but still. When I got home I called Chris and told him what happened. He asked if I called the police -- the other guy did, but we exchanged information and it was just scratches, both Booker and I needed get home to pick up our kids and I was terrified of running into the same cop from last month and getting cornholed -- so we didn't wait around. Chris pointed out that without a police report that guy can say I caused all kinds of damage. Now I'm stressed out. The guy seemed nice -- but one time in college Chris and I were in an accident (Chris was driving, so don't blame that one on the poet) and the woman Chris ran into seemed nice to him (she seemed bat shit crazy to me, but I'm sensitive) -- anyhow, she ended up suing Chris, as did her husband, something about not being able to have sex with her since the accident. This was not a terrible accident and sure, I could believe back and neck injuries, but well, it seemed like there were a lot of additional uterus complications one doesn't normally sustain in a fender bender, but I'm not a doctor and maybe I don't know what I'm talking about -- what I'm trying to say now I'm stressed about my decision not to wait for the cops. It seemed so sillly, it was a low speed, no dent, couple scratches accident. If I get a lawsuit from this guy's wife about how he can't get an erection, Chris is going to be all I told you so!

But before I drove through Falls Church, the day was quite lovely. We met DC poet Kim Roberts in the city and had lunch at Busboys and Poets -- a place I'd been trying to get to since, um, it first opened when I was pregnant.

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4 Comments:

At 5:35 PM, Blogger Jessica Smith said...

having been in many, many, many fender benders myself (poets shouldn't drive), i can say that the chances of him suing you over something silly are very slim. usually people who are nice and exchange info about scratches really are nice. and you have a witness. don't let chris freak you out.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger Charles said...

What, like you've never asked for an anal probe?

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger Collin said...

I almost choked on my Rice Krispies reading this. Hilarious! Well...unless you get sued or cornholed then maybe not so much.

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger ges said...

well we have enough jackals in falls church... don't you think? now move along.

 

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