Dear Christian,

I do not consider Tarpaulin Sky to be a muddled mess. I just enjoy making broad, general statements and offending people. Also, it's my cover so people won't figure the truth: I'm a control freak diva and nobody can bear to work with alongside me.

Sincerely,
Reb

p.s. When you're finished with your home addition, would you like to fix up one of my bathrooms? You can bring along as much help as you wanted and I won't criticize a thing.