. . . and they lived snappily ever after . . .
Home-Schooled By a Cackling Jackal
2004 - 2009
Monday, April 30, 2007
Where I'll Be Tonight
This Week at No Tell
Sunday, April 29, 2007
One more day to go -- I'm heartened that I stuck it through. Apparently I can do anything I put my mind to -- except write my name in the snow.
The poems/drafts will stay up here until May 1 -- then they go bye bye. Well, not really bye bye, they just won't be here anymore. Maybe you'll see some future/edited versions elsewhere. If you do, you can brag to all your friends how you read them when.
Labels: don't eat yellow snow
Friday, April 27, 2007
Where I'll Be This Afternoon
The Mount Vernon Poetry Festival -- I'm one of the judges and I'll be giving a 10 minute reading. What a lucky day for undergraduate poets from Washington-area colleges and universities!
Oh, and btw, everything I do in life is complete, utter bullshit. But you knew that already, didn't you?
Labels: mt. vernon poetry festival
Submission Call from Don Illich
If Poetry Journal Seeking Submissions
Hi, I'm starting a new print poetry journal (actually it's zine sized). I'm looking for submissions of poetry until July 31st, 2007. I plan on publishing the journal by early December 2007 (maybe earlier I hope). What I'm looking for: Here are some writers I love: Tony Hoagland, Dean Young, Jennifer Knox, Denise Duhamel, Ben Lerner, Kim Addonizio, Bob Hicok. I like humorous and surrealistic poetry, but with some heart and weight to it. I'm open to good formal poetry, as well as free verse. I want poems with exciting ideas more than another perfectly crafted poem that just lies there dead on the page.
If you would like to submit 1-5 poems, please e-mail me at ifpoetryjournaleditor at gmail dot com. No attachments, please put your poems in the body of your e-mail. Basic cover letter preferred. No previously published poems. I'm aiming for 34 pages total for the journal, maybe 48 if I can afford it. Each contributor will receive one contributor's copy and be subject to the envy of all their peers. There are no subscriptions as yet, as I don't know how often the journal will come out; I plan on distributing the journal at readings, through Internet requests, and to libraries, MFA programs, etc. The journal should, at least as far as basic design goes, look like this (with different cover art, of course): http://www.blehert.com/TheFederalPoets/Federal_Poet_Fall2006.pdf.
Thank you in advance for submitting work, if that's what you choose to do.
Labels: if poetry journal
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Never Cry Woof Available at Online Retailers
For those of you who prefer to do your book shopping at online retailers, Shafer Hall's Never Cry Woof is available there now too (of course we prefer you purchase from Lulu since we get a considerably bigger royalty -- distribution and retailer cuts are substantial).
But hey, you're the customer and you're always right -- and in the end we're thrilled and grateful that you purchased it!
The Concher #1 Ready for Pre-Order
Brent Armendinger ::: Adam Clay ::: Phillip Crymble ::: Darcie Dennigan ::: Ray Hsu ::: Tung-Hui Hu ::: Rebecca Loudon ::: Reb Livingston ::: Marc McKee ::: Kathleen Rooney & Elisa Gabbert ::: Craig Morgan Teicher ::: Samuel Wharton ::: Sarah Wolfson
Truffles: Espresso Caramel, Classic Ganache with Cacao Nibs, Pomegranate Ganache with Almond Marzipan, Coconut Curry Ganache, Whiskey Ganache, Orange White Chocolate Ganache with Hazelnuts
Order Now -- these don't last long
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Grubby Hand Update
Bone Pagoda by Susan Tichy (Ahsahta Press)
Giscombe Road (Dalkey Archive)
Key Bridge by Ken Rumble (Carolina Wren Press)
The Second Person by C. Dale Young (Fourway Books)
The Ohio System by Jen Tynes & Erika Howsare (Octopus Books)
Asterisk (1 & 2) (Fewer & Further Press, 2007)
The Way Birds Become by Joseph Bradshaw (Weather Press)
coming down in white by Lori Shine (Pilot Books)
Free by Amanda Laughtland
Teen Tiny (December 2006, Issue #9)
Small Kingdom by Sandra Beasley (Big Game Books)
Untitles by Lauren Bender (Big Game Books)
Voice Notes 5" fox + three daughters by Adam Golaski (Big Game Books)
Clone School by Joanna Fuhrman (Big Game Books)
Much Like You Shark by Logan Ryan Smith (Big Game Books)
Labels: grubby hands
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
This Week at No Tell
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Take a Coconut break!! Coconut 8, featuring wonderful new poems by Amy Gerstler, Melissa Koosmann, Rodrigo Toscano, Sara Veglahn, Max Winter, Julia Cohen, Donald Illich, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Denise Duhamel, Kate Schapira, Ray Succre, Anne Heide, Kaya Oakes, Sandy Florian, Sandra Beasley, Nick Carbo, Becca Klaver, PF Potvin, Dawn Pendergast, Ken Rumble, Eddie Watkins, and Amy King is now live at http://www.coconutpoetry.org.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
The Pirooz Kalayeh Reb Exposé
This month's blogging has mostly been NaPoWriMo, but don't be concerned, I haven't stopped talking about myself (as if I was capable of such a thing) -- I've been me me me-ing elsewhere.
Behold my flipping off the world -- chopped full of fresh poet rage!
Read Pirooz's interview with me
And check out this fab video Pirooz created -- all I gave him was an audio of my poem "Uncommmon Concubine" and look what he was able to do with it -- that poem is sure to get a man now. Thank you Pirooz!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
[on second thought snip]
too strong and personal emotions -- unclear lending itself to misunderstanding.
Monday, April 16, 2007
This Week at No Tell
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Mr. Rumble Goes to Washington
We went to the Ken Rumble reading at the Pyramid Atlantic this evening. Now this was a Ken Rumble reading and we ate Mexican beforehand, so I needed to freshen my normally so-sweet breath. At the nearby Safeway I picked up a tiny tin of Altoids and pulled a dollar out of my wallet. See, I'm such an old lady I thought I could buy mints for a dollar. Not even close: $2.40.
Kaplan and Mel introduce the readers.
"Look into my eyes and buy my book, said the author of Key Bridge"
Susan Tichy, C.S. Giscombe and Ken Rumble
Another romantic Saturday night poetry reading.
Friday, April 13, 2007
There Will Always Be the Internet
Yeah, that's what they said about the steel mills.
Great, one more thing to look forward to in middle age. Unemployed Chris with outdated, useless job skills mopping around the house, reading and quoting from the bible all day long, driving me nuts while he waits for them to bring back the Internet. Guess that's when I'll get my nursing degree so Gideon can still have Christmas.
I've already seen this scenerio play out. God damn it, nothing is forever.
Labels: out of this machine room
Monday, April 09, 2007
I know very little about what happened with this so I won't comment in detail on it.
But I do want to point out, for those who may not realize, a text, be it an interview, poem, blog entry, whatever, will almost certainly find more readers online than in print. No Tell Motel receives more unique visitors in a day than there are currently copies of the first Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel in existence (approx. 400 and that includes galleys, contributor copies and the 30 or so in my home -- since this title is POD, this number will change). No Tell Motel receives more unique visitors by noon on any weekday than copies sold over an entire year. And this isn't just a case of it being available for free online, less than half the poems in the anthology are reprints -- over half are new, never been published poems.
The printed product does not bring publicity for the online product -- quite the contrary.
Addendum: The above isn't meant to imply online is "better" than print -- but to suggest that if one is worried about "all the people" who will read something in print format after it's been available online for a couple years -- well, it's kind of too late.
Labels: print versus online
This Week at No Tell Motel
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Saturday, April 07, 2007
How I Spent My Anniversary
On the shuttle to our airline gate we bumped into a woman we used to know in college along with her husband. We were all on the same flight to Austin -- to get to the blessed Brent event. Did the usual catch-up and gossip people do when they haven't seen each other in a decade or so, it wasn't long before she said "hey, I think I have a picture of your breasts somewhere!"
I always wondered where that picture went. Now I'm very curious. I'm like 95% sure I was wearing a bra.
For my younger readers, I suggest you take a picture of your breasts during your early 20's and tuck it away some place safe so you can use it as a measure as you get older. It'll also be really funny to your older self to be given the opportunity to make fun of your younger self for thinking you were fat then. Do your older self that favor.
We had dinner with one-time loverboy Marcus and his wife. We discussed what all parents discuss during dinner: potty training. It was the same restaurant a bunch of us ate at before last year's AWP LIT/Redivider/Kitchen Press reading. The only conversation I remember from that meal was Laurel's hilarious anal sex jokes. How quickly times change. Oh wait, Laurel and I both were mothers last year, must be a poet thing . . .
Anyhow, after our meal we went to the blessed Brent pre-wedding gathering. Jill Alexander Essbaum gave us chocolate body oil for our anniversary -- as if Ms. Essbaum! I don't know how many times I had to remind her "I'm somebody's mother now!"
This is the man I married 11 years ago yesterday -- as you can tell by the glasses, we were meant to be together.
This is the man I once thought I would marry -- and the woman he did marry.
This is me begging Brent to reconsider and run away with me -- it's cool, Chris is very understanding like that.
This is Jill trying to convince me to go to a strip club -- as if Ms. Essbaum!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
I'm trying to get NaPoMoWri ahead because we're going to Austin this weekend for a wedding. I'll try to write while I'm out there, but who knows if I'll be able. Those of you who attended the AWP pajama party met the bride and groom, Brent & Trisha, the gracious hosts who invited us into their new home. Well they're finally making each other honest.
The tartriffic Jill Essbaum will at the wedding, as will my one-time loverboy Marcus and his wife. Marcus and I dated for two and a half years and we were in love, then we broke up and he went to Toronto for a day and bought himself a leather jacket and from there on his life drastically improved. He's a testament to the power of post-break-up makeovers.
Don't have time to look now, but somewhere I have a photograph of Marcus and me reading The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin for our Character Ideals in American History course. Marcus was a computer science major, but we took history and astronomy classes together -- and sometimes, it was so beautiful, but mainly it was really annoying.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
I both love and am freaked out by this one
Labels: children of the eggs
Press Press Press
Monday, April 02, 2007
Swiped from Shanna's Blog (and expanded)
A list and links to poets taking part in NaPoWriMo:
Maureen Thorson (@ a special blog) & friends
Ivy Alvarez (who offers these cute blog buttons)
Ada Limon & Jennifer L. Knox
Elisa Gabbert & Kathy Rooney
Robin Reagler (not at her usual place)
& a buncha LiveJournalers here, including Tiffany Noonan & Josh Hanson, among others!
Anne Boyer (not at her usual place)
Mel Nichols (ditto)
Vicky, a.k.a. vmh
Sarah Bartlett & Chris Tonelli
Call for Submissions
This Week at No Tell
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Tool, Issue 8
Just got home and am still working on today's poem -- but it appears the latest issue of Tool A Magazine is up -- with poems by Michael Peters, Tracy McTague and Brendan Lorber, K. Silem Mohammad, Shanna Compton and yours truly. Those poems I worked on for more than a day.
Come around later tonight for the rough stuff!
Labels: tool a magazine