Lady Poets in Hotlanta (with Chaperone)

Oh, and there's a No Tell Books Release Party at my house in Reston, VA this Saturday night (December 1). If you're local and I'd like to attend, send me an e-mail for an invite. Readers will be Laurel Snyder, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Hugh Behm-Steinberg and yours truly!

p.s. I'm reading in Atlanta tonight (Thursday). Here's the details again:

NOVEMBER 29, 2007, 8PM - Harris Hall Parlour, Emory University - Atlanta, GA
Readers: Reb Livingston, Jill Alexander Essbaum and Jennifer Bartlett

Bedside Guide at KGB

Please join us for The Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel - Second Floor Release Party

Monday Dec. 3, 2007 - 7:30PM
KGB Monday Night Poetry Reading Series
85 East 4th Street., New York, NY 10003

Readers: Hugh Behm-Steinberg, Ana Bozicevic-Bowling, Bruce Covey, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Kate Greenstreet, Shafer Hall, editor Reb Livingston, Justin Marks, Gina Myers, Carly Sachs, Allyson Salazar, Evie Shockley, and Nicole Steinberg

No Tell Motel's Pushcart Nominations

“The Fine Art of Pedestal Construction” by Meghan Punschke

“pink-think (a primer for girls of other colors)” by Evie Shockley

“The Difference Between Toggle Bolts & Molly Screws” by Bruce Covey

“Hush Money” by Dora Malech

“Great Lash” by Suzanne Frischkorn

“This far I have come with no name” by Ann M. Fine

Don't Be a Punk, Shop Online

Collin has a good poetry shopping holiday guide.

For more ideas, check out the new releases at Press Press Press.

Burlesque Note

Since a number of people have inquired about reading at Burlesque, I should note that the reading series will be on hiatus in 2008 until Lolita comes back to me.

The Last Burlesque Poetry Hour of 2007

photos are now up.

Burlesque photos will be posted later this evening -- and this time there won't be any pictorial censorship like there was last month. The Belz-Davis Burlesque Rule is in effect: Anything that happens during Burlesque Poetry Hour will be photographed and posted to the site. INCLUDING goat fellating. No exceptions.

*

Speaking of other injustices, just heard from Chris who's in the Outer Banks right now for the court case regarding that minivan who tried to run him off the road while we were on vacation.

Case dismissed! Travesty! There is no God! More cyclists in peril! The humanity!

Guess we have to get justice the old fashioned way. Saved a month's worth of poopy diapers -- just incase.

Where I'll Be Tonight

I'm having eBay drama this morning. "Perfect Used Condition" for a ring does not mean three chips and a loose stone. The seller is assuring me she's very familiar with the ring and I am imagining the chips -- and will only provide a refund with a 20% restock fee. So I get to pay $20 plus shipping for someone's erroneous description. Looks like I'll be leaving my first negative feedback which will likely result in a retaliatory negative feedback on my permanent record.

In happier news, last night Chris and I saw Josh Lefkowitz's funny NOW WHAT? at the Woolly Mammoth Theatre. A writer/performer achieves some early success with his first play and lands an agent. So what does he want to do? Write poetry! Even Chris laughed at the ridiculousness of that.

The show just got extended to December 9. Go see it.

This Week at No Tell

Scott Glassman plays the maiden in the book depository window this week at No Tell Motel.

Reading in Atlanta on Thursday!

NOVEMBER 29, 2007, 8PM - Harris Hall Parlour, Emory University - Atlanta, GA

Readers: Reb Livingston, Jill Alexander Essbaum and Jennifer Bartlett

Reading in San Francisco Area?

I'm going to be in Mountain View, CA from December 10 - 18. If you can help me get a reading during that time, please e-mail. Thanks.

You can buy a printed copy of the MiPO December issue here.

Today I am Thankful

for getting my lost camera back (thank you Carly).



and for my editor, Bruce Covey, who published Your Ten Favorite Words.

and for the cover designer, Meghan Punschke.

and for Joe Massey's proofreading.

and for the people who invite me to read at their reading series, like Nicole Steinberg of Earshot below.



and I'm thankful for those who attend the readings.

and I'm thankful for the people who buy poetry books -- especially the ones I write and/or publish!

and I'm thankful to all the little people, like my son, who rubbed slobber and snot all over my face this morning when I was supposed to be sleeping in.

And how happy am I that I don't have to drive anywhere or be at a train station or airport today?

Pretty darn happy -- in fact, according to my Vedic "Happiness Graph" tomorrow starts a year of moderate happiness -- which is good, cause according to the graph, I've been at no happiness since 9/28/05 and negative happiness since 10/28/06.

Such a sad girl and you had no idea, did you?

Come back 12/20/09 through 5/16/12, I'm gonna be crazy happy then.

Next Week at Burlesque Poetry Hour - Foursome!

Laurel Snyder, Hugh Behm-Steinberg, Rod Smith and Mel Nichols

Collin Kelley Interviews PF Potvin

at The Business of Words.

Galatea Resurrects #8

Galatea Resurrects (A Poetry Engagement) is pleased to release its Eighth Issue at http://galatearesurrection8.blogspot.com with 64 new reviews/engagements!

Including Eileen Tabios' review of Wanton Textiles.

Wanton Textiles is a very satisfying collaboration to read, a salubrious interaction to experience. It's worth pursuing -- the poems will harden you as much as they will soften you and it won't matter which because these poems also want you to feel as many ways as possible of being unraveled towards ecstatic release.

Calling Justin Timberlake

The hottest issue of MiPOesias is out. I have poems on page 19 and there's a review of Your Ten Favorite Words on page 46 -- but you definitely want to start from the beginning and go page by page.

Normally I would list all the contributors, but I think in this case I'm supposed to entice you to discover on your own.

I read MiPO for the poems, not for the sailor suits (page 12).

Them Offend

I'm always a little surprised, wait, no that's not the best word, no, let's go with perplexed. Yes, I'm often perplexed at who feels implicated over what -- and who is determined to defend and protect a clearly broken part of a system. Especially when these happen to be the same folks who go after another broken part of the same system. You know, the particular broken part that doesn't work for them. That part is despicable and deserving a smiting -- in the name of poetry. Their rallying is for the good of poetry and if you can't see that, well, you know who you're a tool for. But when other people go after another busted part of the system, you know, the part that isn't working/helping them. Somehow it's all quite different, has nothing to do with poetry, it's all about them, selfish, whiny them -- the them that doesn't care about the poetry cause paying attention to their poems will just mean less poetry. This is the them that reminds them they're no more outside the dastardly system than anyone else -- those who spear the kneecap, but shield the belly.

Thank you for reading my essay.

Now at PennSound

You can listen to erica kaufman's and my readings and conversation up at PennSound.

This Week at No Tell

Louisa Spaventa is weaving new fabric from bark and moonstring this week at No Tell Motel.

Whew, quickly got used to the whirlwind celebrity poet lifestyle, wined and dined. Over one of the many sumptuous feasts I told Carly that when we got back to her apartment I was going to blog the single sentence: In the past 48 hours I haven't wiped anyone's ass aside from my own.

We had a good laugh, but when we got back to her apartment I didn't do any blogging. No. When we got back to her apartment I realized I left my camera at The Lucky Cat. Carly wasn't concerned, she had faith in the humanity of bar patrons. On the other hand, I was jaded and assumed it gone forever. How could I blog and brag knowing I just lost Chris' camera?

Probably for the best anyhow, it's unseemly to brag, especially about ass wiping.

Miraculously the camera wasn't stolen. Carly knows the hearts of drunks.

*

On the train home the conductor kept wishing us a happy holiday week. I had no idea what she was talking about. Finally I turned to the woman next to me and asked "What holiday is she talking about?"

Apparently Thanksgiving is this week.

Good thing I wear glasses. Gives the impression of being a lot smarter than I really am.

An Auspicious Evening

Last night's reading with erica was a lot of fun -- and it was recorded for PennSound, so in the near future you'll get a chance to listen to it -- which you totally should.

Adam Fieled wrote a short note about it here.

My enemies remained hidden and didn't start any shit, in fact, really fabulous people showed up. Or perhaps they were covert enemies yet to reveal themselves.

Afterward we talked about astrological charts, astral projection and ghosts.

And learned that I have Venus conjunct Neptune in Sagittarius. Neptune is boundlessness and Venus is love and Sag is adventure. So, for me, love will always be a boundless adventure!!! Others who have this Venus: Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, Auguste Rodin, Ezra Pound, Anne Sexton.

For any regular readers of this blog, that's like, a big duh, but I feel it's important to share this confirmation.

Buy your tickets for the boundless love adventure trains here and here.

Come on, ride the train, hey, ride it, woo woo

And if you're in NYC -- come hear me read tonight at 8 p.m. Earshot with Jessica Reed, Wythe Marschall, Peter Moore and Amanda McCormick.

Recent No Tell Book Reviews

Going Postal: Rebecca Loudon's Radish King and Navigate, Amelia Earhart's Letters Home

Reviewed by Caroline Ashby at Cutbank

* * *

Chris Purdom reviews Harlot

Cheryl Townsend reviews Your Ten Favorite Words at the Alsop Review.

p.s. I'm in Philadelphia -- come hear me read with erica kaufman tonight -- 6 p.m.

Readings This Week

Thursday, November 15, 2007, 6 p.m. - Emergency Reading Series at Kelly Writers House - Philadelphia, PA
Readers: erica kaufman and Reb Livingston *

Friday, November 16, 2008, 8 p.m. - Earshot at The Lucky Cat - Williamsburg/Brooklyn, NY
Readers: Reb Livingston, Jessica Reed, Wythe Marshall, Peter Moore, Amanda McCormick

* There will be a discussion at the Phili reading regarding "the poetic community, aesthetic influence, and the experience of a poet in today's culture."

Will I again stick my foot in my mouth and outrage/annoy the audience?

My Vedic Horoscope says YES!

Your Zodiac prediction for November 15, 2007
There may be a few squabbles with your enemies and people who are not your greatest fans when you introduce new revolutionary measures in your workplace. Try and work things out without your ego getting in the way. Take one step at a time and diplomatically as well.

Hey, a room full of enemies and anti-fans is better than an empty one. Come on out and give my assholey ego a swift kick.

Warning: Below is Ew

Once at an AWP hotel bar, a man-poet was going on about the sense of accomplishment one feels after taking a really big crap. He spoke of this as a universal truth. He alluded to another man-poet extolling pride regarding his own giant crap -- quotes and everything. This man-poet, a good, intelligent, thoughtful man, really expected me to nod my head in agreement that anus-stretching bowel movements were worthy of note and discussion. I believe I hurt his feelings when I responded, "My body created and birthed an 8 pound, 2 ounce, completely unique, beautiful human being. How on Earth could I be impressed with a bowel movement?"

See, that's innovation. But go ahead, keep polishing those turds. Maybe one will grow up and become Bono.

This Week at No Tell

Paula Mendoza-Hanna spends the gold like a new born thief this week at No Tell Motel.

Now on Sale

The Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel - Second Floor, edited by Reb Livingston & Molly Arden
ISBN: 978-0-6151-6437-3
Publication Date: December, 2007
216 pages

Available at Lulu for $16.99
Available Soon at Amazon and B&N for $16.99

Featuring Sexy By:


Eric Abbott * Deborah Ager * Malaika King Albrecht * William Allegrezza * Molly Arden * Cynthia Arrieu-King * Robyn Art * Sandra Beasley * Aaron Belz * Erin M. Bertram * Mary Biddinger * Ana Bozicevic-Bowling * Timothy Bradford * Joseph Bradshaw * Jason Bredle * Jenny Browne * Jenna Cardinale * Bruce Covey * Phil Crippen * Susan Denning * Michelle Detorie * Laurel K. Dodge * Mark DuCharme * Peg Duthie * kari edwards * AnnMarie Eldon * Jill Alexander Essbaum * Julie R. Enszer * Noah Falck * Michael Farrell * Katie Fesuk * Adam Fieled * Alice Fogel * Elisa Gabbert * Eric Gelsinger * Scott Glassman * David B. Goldstein * Dean Gorman * Anne Gorrick * Lea Graham * Kate Greenstreet * Piotr Gwiazda * Shafer Hall * Josh Hanson * Nathan Hoks * Donald Illich * Salwa C. Jabado * Charles Jensen * Jim Kober * Ron Klassnik * Jennifer L. Knox * Dorothee Lang * Sueyeun Juliette Lee * David Lehman * Reb Livingston * Rebecca Loudon * Justin Marks * Clay Matthews * Kristi Maxwell * Gary L. McDowell * Erika Meitner * Didi Menendez * Michael Meyerhofer * Steve Mueske * Gina Myers * Cheryl Pallant * Shann Palmer * Alison Pelegrin * Simon Perchik * Derek Pollard * Andrea Potos * Cati Porter * Laurie Price * Jessy Randall * Kim Roberts * Anthony Robinson * Carly Sachs * John Sakkis * Allyson Salazar * Christine Scanlon * Margot Schilpp * Morgan Lucas Schuldt * Patty Seyburn * Peter Jay Shippy * Evie Shockley * Alex Smith * Hugh Steinberg * Nicole Steinberg * Alison Stine * Mathias Svalina * Erik Sweet * Eileen R. Tabios * Bronwen Tate * Molly Tenenbaum * Chris Tonelli * Letitia Trent * Jen Tynes * Michael Quattrone * Ashley VanDoorn * Fritz Ward * J. Marcus Weekley * Betsy Wheeler * Theodore Worozbyt * Kim Young

So the The Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel - Second Floor is nearly upon us. Ten proofs arrived today that I'll be bringing to my readings next week in Philadelphia and NYC along with copies of Your Ten Favorite Words. I'll order the rest of the Bedside Guides this weekend. It'll probably go on sale then too.

Last night I dreamed that I invited 20 contributors to participate in an out-of-town reading and offered to get them a hotel room. Of course, when I said hotel room, I meant one, for all of them to stay in -- with Chris and me. There were two queen beds, one for Chris and me and another for the other 20 poets to share. They were pissed and complained they were uncomfortable, crowded and I promised them . . . I became exasperated with their complaints and argued with the more vocal ones. Nobody was swayed. What did they expect from me? I'm just one woman, I thought. Eventually I relented and got a second room, and allowed one of the tinier poets to join my bed. Some of the contributors (Jill Essbaum, Bruce Covey, TB (? -- since when did she write poetry?) and six others) took it upon themselves to get a third room with a stocked bar. But I still got the sense everyone was disappointed with me.

Any dream interpreters want to give that a go? Something other than my subconscious telling me I'm inconsiderate, impractical and a big fucking letdown?

And then God gave heat and a $60 discount.

I understand the concepts of "name" and reputation. I get the importance of funding, budgets, distribution and library subscriptions.

I also get that one of the wealthiest, most talked about, most photographed, high-profile celebrities is Paris Hilton. Yet that doesn't make her talented, smart, compelling, interesting, classy or particularly pretty. I'd sooner enter a "Win a Date with Carrot Top" contest than break bread with her.

Does that mean I lack ambition?

Thanks to everyone for the flea remedies.

Yesterday I found myself speaking like Yoda: "Chocolate chip, do you have?"

Creepy. I have no idea why. Maybe from flea exposure.

And I'm waiting to hear back from the repairman if my furnace part is in yet. I didn't have a whole lot of confidence yesterday when I called and discovered he didn't have the entire model number of my furnace (it's been a week and they've been to the house twice!). I was pretty angry on the phone and now I'm wondering if I have the play "my husband wants to speak to you" card. I'm not fond of that card, but when pushed into a (freezing) corner. Chris can be more unpleasant than me, if you can believe it.

Moving on . . . Gideon's daycare provider gave him a toy yesterday. Occasionally she gives him one he's extra fond of from her stash, but yesterday's toy, a brand new guitar with 50 buttons of annoying, loud, brain-splitting sounds -- I know why she gave that to him. Cause he picks the most annoying sound and plays it over and over and over again, for hours sometimes. So imagine my pleasure when that was the toy he picked to bring over to her house this morning. We can all suffer that together.

That's right, if you give Gideon a loud gift or a messy gift, he'll be bringing it to your house to play with -- we'll make a special appointment if need be. Thank you for your generosity -- and guess what . . .

generosity we have, with you to share. At you, right back.

So my furnace is still not fixed. It's not incredibly cold here yet, but Gideon's room is nippy in the mornings and I'm not putting a space heater overnight with an unsupervised toddler. I called the furnace people on Tuesday, repairman came on Wednesday, said he needed to order a part and it would be in on Thursday. Late Thursday morning I called, the part wasn't in yet, but they could do it on Friday. I told them I was out-of-town all weekend, so we scheduled a Monday appointment 4-7 p.m. Monday at 6:30 p.m. no repairman, so I called to make sure they were still coming. Turned out someone rescheduled the appointment for Saturday (when I wasn't home), but the manager could come at 9 p.m. Fine, as long as he comes, I said. At 9:30 p.m. he called and told me he's stuck working on another furnace and wouldn't be able to make it, but he could come at 1 p.m. on Tuesday. Fine, as long as you come, I told him. Today he called at 3:30 p.m. and said he'll be there around 6 p.m. Fine, ruin my dinner hour, but as long as you come. Well, he did come, with the wrong part, which he assured me is a mistake on the factory's end, not his incompetent company's end. They'll call me tomorrow.

And to make matter worse, I found two fleas in Gideon's hair today. That's right, fleas! When we got home on Sunday I noticed that our indoor-only cat spent a lot of the weekend sleeping on his bed and I found a flea on the chaise lounge (another frequent spot of hers). I guess a flea got into the house somehow, found her and now they're hatching. Spent the whole morning giving everyone baths, doing laundry and vacuuming, but it looks like I'll have to flea bomb the house too.

I have no heat and fleas. How are you?

First Issue of If Poetry Journal Available

Ordering information here.

Poems by Kristin Abraham, Grace Cavalieri, Bruce Covey, Joshua Cristiano, F.A. Davis, Nancy Devine, Jehanne Dubrow, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Sarah Freligh, Lee Gieseck, Laura Goldberg, Joshua Gottlieb-Miller, Michael Gushue, Jeff Harrison, Scott Keeney, Amy King, L.K. Leu, Reb Livingston, Gregory Luce, Jack Martin, Frank Marquardt, Kyle McDaniel, Gregg Mosson, Michael Willett Newheart, Tom Orange, Jessica Piazza, Francis Raven, Billy Reynolds, Kim Roberts, J.D. Smith, Doug Wilkinson and Changming Yuan.

Eye Candy from MiPO's Sexy Issue

Coming in December

p.s. Those are my toes!

This Week at No Tell

Jason Bredle probably knows more about astronomy than the average asshole this week at No Tell Motel.

If your house is a mess and in disrepair, it ain't my job, or the collective job of any group or groups, to clean and fix it up for you.

If your house has always been this way, for like decades, it's not such a far out assumption that you're content to live that way. I'm not gonna bang down your door with the slim hope you'll allow me to dine among your cobwebs. I don't care how fancy your silverware and china might be.

In NY for Tender Buttons and Tender Vittles engagement party. TV mentioned his new moniker on this blog to his relatives -- basically how I don't sully their good Google-searchable names here. They're respectable lawyer-types and it wouldn't be nice to alert future employers, creditors, etc. that they fraternize with an enraged underpants-obsessed blogging mommy-poet. This decision is not completely out of kindness. I don't want them to be able to pin any failures in life on me as leverage to borrow money or move into my basement.

One of TV's relatives asked about my own blogging moniker. I explained that I was poet, an enraged underpants-obsessed blogging mommy-poet at that, so there's no need to concern myself with such frivolous things as the esteem of others. She asked what Gideon's moniker was and I explained he had none for his name was sullied from birth, being that he was born to me, enraged underpants-obsessed blogging mommy-poet. She inquired about my respectable-in-appearance husband and his blog moniker and I further explained that Christopher Lawrence Morrow, recent Google hire, i.e. Noogler, sullied his good name the day we married and one of my missions is to continue to add to the sullification of his easily Googleable name.

Cause that's what marriage means to me.

Congratulations TB & TV.

Before & After

The Frog Prince
By Stevie Smith

I am a frog
I live under a spell
I live at the bottom
Of a green well

And here I must wait
Until a maiden places me
On her royal pillow
And kisses me
In her father's palace.

The story is familiar
Everybody knows it well
But do other enchanted people feel as nervous
As I do? The stories do not tell,

Ask if they will be happier
When the changes come
As already they are fairly happy
In a frog's doom?

I have been a frog now
For a hundred years
And in all this time
I have not shed many tears,

I am happy, I like the life,
Can swim for many a mile
(When I have hopped to the river)
And am for ever agile.

And the quietness,
Yes, I like to be quiet
I am habituated
To a quiet life,

But always when I think these thoughts
As I sit in my well
Another thought comes to me and says:
It is part of the spell

To be happy
To work up contentment
TO make much of being a frog
To fear disenchantment

Says, it will be heavenly
To be set free,
Cries, Heavenly the girl who disenchants
And the royal times, heavenly,
And I think it will be.

Come then, royal girl and royal times,
Come quickly,
I can be happy until you come
But I cannot be heavenly,
Only disenchanted people
Can be heavenly.

MiPOesias is now open for submissions, please read the guidelines.